Monster Movie Rules

In Monsterville, Lissa uses her monster movie smarts not only to survive, but to rescue her little sister from the monsters that kidnap her on Halloween.

If you find yourself in a situation similar to Lissa’s, these tips might come in handy:

  • Don’t comment out loud that a new place looks safe, because that will guarantee that some big monster will crawl from the sewer.
  • Don’t go against your gut instinct, because that’s the easiest way to find yourself in trouble.
  • Locking the door will not help if your pursuer has a chain saw.
  • If you look behind you when something is chasing you, you will get eaten.
  • Monsters always get you when you assume you’re safe.
  • If you’re blonde, stick to baths. Showers are dangerous.
  • Don’t split off from your group.
  • If you kill a monster, make sure it’s really dead.
  • Don’t say “I’ll be right back.” You won’t be.
  • If you’ve tied up a monster and upon examination, it appears harmless, don’t untie it. It will eat you.
  • The person who says “it seems harmless” has the honor of getting eaten first.